


i understand

by koganewest



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Angst, Langst, Self-Harm, keith has recovered tho, lance self harmed and shiro finds out and keith helps bc keith self harmed too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 21:33:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15566772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koganewest/pseuds/koganewest
Summary: Lance finds comfort in whom he least expects.





	i understand

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: bleeding through the bandages  
> tw: self harm

As he drops his head back to rest on the cabinet behind him, Lance sighs heavily. After many busy months in space, after months he stayed clean, he had relapsed. The floor is cold on his bare legs, but the blood on his thighs is warm, running in thick rivulets toward the tile. It looks foreign and unwanted in stark contrast to the floor of the altean communal bathroom.

The worst part, in his opinion, is that he still feels nothing. He isn’t angry, and he isn’t crying; he’s just so damn tired. He’s so sick and tired of being in space, of being less than important, of being him.

And deep down, he knows he shouldn’t have done it, knows he should’ve stayed clean, but he just couldn’t take it anymore. He needed something real, something visceral, to make up for the empty feeling in his chest. It makes him nauseous with how much of a void he feels. Even more so than the bloodied shard of metal clutched in his fingertips. But then begins to feel dizzy as well, on the verge of fainting from blood loss, and he decides he needs help.

If only he knew who to ask.

His mind wanders first to Hunk, who he had the most history with. Hunk understood him, cared for him, more than anyone else on the ship. But then he remembers when Hunk had found out one day at the Garrison. To put it simply, Hunk hadn’t handled it well. The sight of blood had made him puke in the toilet, then he had broken down and sobbed for nearly an hour, demanding to know why Lance hadn’t talked to him or asked for help.

He then considers Pidge, who he met next, but he rules them out almost immediately. Pidge couldn’t really handle emotional situations well.

Coran, Shiro, and Allura are out of the question. He couldn’t bare to let either of them see him like this for about the same reason. He respected them all too much. He looked up to Coran like he did a family member. He looked up Allura like he did a leader. He looked up to Shiro like he did a hero. There was no way he could let any of them know he was this broken.

And then there was Keith. He wouldn’t be caught dead sharing his insecurities with someone like him. Though they had gotten over their rivalry, Lance still felt as though there was a disconnect between them. Plus, Keith always had it good. He was effortlessly talented and nearly perfect. He would never understand what it’s like to feel inferior, to feel unimportant, to feel hopeless.

And then the door begins to open.

There, standing in the doorway, eyes glazed over, is Shiro.

Lance barely even reacts as his role model falls to his knees next to him, looking absolutely crazed. His eyes are unseeing as his expression breaks. The resolve is gone, and in its wake is fear. “Lance, oh god, are you okay? Talk to me, please.”

But he doesn’t respond, frozen by humiliation that Shiro is seeing this weakness. Shiro places a hand in his shoulder, and then, he’s sprinting out the door.

Lance lets his eyes close and wishes for death to swallow him whole.

However, it doesn’t, and within the next few minutes, the door to the communal bathroom opens again. Standing there in the doorway, with sincerity shaping his expression, is none other than Keith. He’s wearing a large red sweatshirt that looks like it could belong to Shiro, and small black shorts that rest mid-thigh. Under his right arm seems to be gauze and bandages. Lance doesn’t speak, just focuses on the sound of his breathing.

“Before you push me away,” Keith begins carefully, raising his hands to show he means no harm, “I want to show you something.” And then he reaches down to his left leg and lifts up the shorts to expose his upper thigh.

It’s covered in scars.

Some are long and thin, running from one end to the other and interrupting the pale skin. Some are short and fat, looking raised-up and puffy. Others are crescent-shaped, indicating the marks of nails. They share the same color: an angry pink. Lance just gapes at him.

Then he moves his head jerkily, inviting Keith to join him, to help him. The other boy’s eyes widen in surprise, before he hurriedly kneels beside Lance, beginning to clean up the mess.

Neither boy speaks until Keith is done dressing the wounds.

“Shiro sent me,” he explains, almost apologetically. “He would’ve helped, but he just freaked out a bit.” A sigh from Keith. No response from Lance. “He found me once. When I was, uh, almost dead. He just gets scared.” Another sigh. “Really cares about us, y’know?”

Lance didn’t know. He still doesn’t speak. Everything is still numb.

“I mean, I’m here if you, uh, need anything. I’m not the best at, like, comforting people. And I can’t say I understand exactly what it is you’re feeling, but I guess I have an idea. At least more than the others.” Keith is rambling now, but Lance doesn’t bother to stop him. 

He still can’t look Keith in the eye. Instead, he just stares at the bandages, watching them turn red as blood begins to seep through. 

“What I’m saying is that you can talk to me. We’re friends, Lance.” Then, Keith seems to catch himself and turns pink in embarrassment. “In my opinion, we are. If you don’t think so, it’s fine, I just wanted to offer, like -“

“Keith.”

He stops rambling and raises his eyes from the floor to look at Lance, almost surprised that he’s speaking. His face is still red with timidity, and Lance can tell he doesn’t do this often. Keith doesn’t open up often, doesn’t share vulnerability often. But here he is, doing his best to help Lance. He appreciates it to no end and wants to let Keith know he’s thankful.

“Shut up,” is what he says instead. In his defense, his brain isn’t exactly functioning properly. So he offers a weak smile, slow and tantalizingly in nature.

When Keith beams in return, Lance knows he understands.

For now, that’s all he needs.

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys!! hope you liked this :) i’m quite proud of it. 
> 
> also, if you’re reading my fwb chattered fic, temporary bliss, there will be an update soon! #self promo
> 
> love y’all lots,  
> lily aka [koganewest on tumblr](https://koganewest.tumblr.com/)


End file.
